Back to School Prep for Your Neurodivergent Student

Back to school prep isn’t just for students, it’s for parents and guardians too. With the summer winding down, now is the time to look back at what worked last year, what didn't, and to build the structures of support that will carry your student into the new one.

Take Stock Together

Start by asking your student what they think went well and where they needed more support. Take notes, ask clarifying questions, and approach the conversation with curiosity – even if you don’t immediately agree with their perception. 

Next, ask yourself whether the student’s view matches what you experienced. Where there are inconsistencies in your perspectives, drill down until you reach common ground. For example, maybe your student thinks they need more time to take tests but you know that they’re capable of finishing take home tests in the allotted time. You might ask yourself what’s different about those two scenarios until you find a common struggle point: does your student struggle with a lot of noise, do they use a computer for take-home tests but do in-class tests by hand, etc. 

Parent Prep

Once you have a solid list of their needs, it’s time to compare them with last year’s IEP or 504 plan if they have one. What needs are already addressed and being met? Are there new areas where support is required? Are there areas that are no longer of concern and can be removed? Take notes, and be specific. 

Now it’s time to communicate with the school. If your student already has a 504 or IEP, find out when the school will review it, and plan to be present for that meeting. Feel free to send ahead a brief summary of what you and your student discovered upon reflection, so the staff and administration are prepared for the changes that you may be requesting.

Additionally, consider your expectations as a family. Academics might be difficult for your student, but it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t set a reasonable bar for things like participation, quality of work, or effort. Once you’ve got a clear idea of what those expectations are, sit down with your student to discuss. Make sure they understand what you’re asking and how you plan to support them at home. Remember that the point is not to set up rigid goals but rather to clarify what doing well in school looks like (beyond a specific grade).

Prepping Elementary School Students

For elementary aged students, reach out to their teacher once prep time starts in August (or as soon as you know who they are). Set up a meeting separate from back-to-school night to discuss your student’s needs and accommodations. Bring your student with you to the meeting, it’s important for them to know that they’re a part of the discussion, not just the subject of it.

At the meeting, help the teacher and your student agree on how needs will be communicated in class. Many students struggle to vocalize their needs and feel embarrassed drawing attention to themselves in front of their peers. Consider discreet ways the student could request accommodations without being singled out in class, like placing a sticky note in the corner of their desk, giving a pre-agreed hand signal, or a specific phrase the student can use if they need a break, like asking to "grab a drink of water."

On the more logistical side of back-to-school prep, make sure your student knows how their days will be structured during the school year. This includes the bigger picture, like how school, after-school care, extracurriculars, and family responsibilities fit together, as well as the granular daily schedule: wake-up time, breakfast, when they leave for school, and so on.

The earlier your student knows what's coming, the more time they have to adjust. Many kids do fine with change itself, what trips them up is being caught off guard. Small, ongoing conversations about the year ahead go a long way toward easing that transition.

Start adjusting bedtimes and wake-up times to match that schedule well in advance of the first day of school. Remember to build in transition time too. Switching from one task to another can be tricky for many neurodivergent kids.

It can also be helpful to do one or more practice runs with your student. Walk with them to their bus or to the front of the school and talk over what will happen when you get there. Drive to the after school care facility and ask to take a tour. Or practice the transition from relaxing to focusing on a school-like activity (maybe ask them to read or listen to a book, write a story, or do a craft at the table where they’ll be doing homework).

Set up and try out the physical tools they’ll be using ahead of time. This might be a graphic planner, additional notebooks, Handwriting Without Tears paper, or any other tools your student uses. A calendar your student can mark off day by day gives them something concrete to hold onto while they wait, rather than a date that feels far off and hard to picture.

Prepping Middle and High Schoolers

Middle school and high school students are expected to ask and advocate for their own accommodations. Talk with your older student about how involved they’d like you to be in advocating for them and their accommodations. 

Once your roles are clearly defined, have your student practice asking for their accommodations. This is where self-advocacy starts. Help them find language they’re comfortable with that identifies the need, asks clearly for an appropriate accommodation, and makes clear how they will follow up, if necessary. You might get an eye roll or two at this exercise, but your student will thank you later when they’re face to face with the teacher and already know what to say.

If you can get a copy of the syllabuses for your student’s classes in advance, try to track down audiobook versions of assigned texts, or other alternative ways of accessing the material. Talk to your student about the amount of work that will be expected of them and ask them to brainstorm ways they might handle it.

Also, take a look at the various types of homework assignments listed by the teachers and discuss how you will support your student. This could be helping to set up homework timelines, check-ins on larger projects, or reminders to talk with teachers about overall progress in their classes. Don’t set yourself up to be a task master everyday, but rather the guardrails your student needs to stay on track.

While this might feel like a lot, remember that none of it has to happen overnight, and it doesn't have to be perfect. What matters is that your student knows they're not alone, and that you’re there to help build the structures they need to succeed on their own terms.